Lately, I have spent many hours making up for lost time. There is the constant fear of failure; nagging, accompanying me in places. I have been trying to move forward with it - not without it - while finding ways to use it constructively.

Some days are terrible. I wake up with a huge pit in my stomach. Consumed by fear of the unknown, I find my back glued against the bed.

What makes these days bearable? The person I want to become who is just waiting for me a few years down the road and the people I want to take with me.

Also words.

Some keywords, some strings of words that have kept me company throughout the years. Some of them I can access only when a situation calls for it, very few I can remember regardless of what I am going through.

Like Charles Bukowski.

I remember being charmed by him because of his simplicity. His poetry beautiful in that they are easy to read. To me his poetry sounds like the one given by a drunk grandfather who dropped by to give an unsolicited remark.

Of all the poems that I read by him, this one never failed to give me encouragement. Needed or otherwise.

This one is my morning anthem. May it be yours too.

—

Here’s a short film of Bukowski’s The Laughing Heart:

The Laughing Heart
Charles Bukowski

your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.